Of a Frowning Face
by Kalims
Summary: Will and Irma survived what could have been a fatal accident; but its scar still marks Will and her heart.


**Of A Frowning Face**

"Will..." She heard the soft voice trailing off after calling her name. Will swallowed, still facing the other side of the room with her back turned to Irma. Thumbing through her book as if the brunette's frail, heartbreaking voice hadn't touched her at all.

"What?" Will said in a raspy tone, not even looking over her shoulders nor turning around. She could feel Irma's eyes on her, she could even imagine the hurt expression on her face. But that didn't make Will even consider showing a slight smile.

"I'm sorry." Will closed the book and she held it to put it calmly on the table just before Irma added, "God! I'm so sorry about-" Will intentionally slammed the book on the table, causing Irma to flinch. She wanted to cut what Irma was saying. She couldn't bare hearing the possible next few words.

"Well, y-you should be." She hesitantly answered coldly. She thought Irma must've had gotten used to that tone, for she used it more often than not since the accident. Especially on the brunette.

The water guardian's face twitched and she cocked her head to the right with a slow painful movement as if she was being forced from the side. She watched as Will put her hands on her chair's wheels from both sides and started rolling them, leading herself towards her bed where she had put her bag. The redhead felt Irma's intense gaze. This time she did look over her shoulders at her. Will kept staring at Irma for few moments. Her brown coloured eyes flashed red in resent and bitterness.

Irma unconsciously took one step back, her own blue eyes sad and hurt against this hostility one of her best friends was displaying. She thought she didn't have any tears left, however she still felt them whelming up. Will looked back at her bag without a word.

Three months ago, Will and Irma had been in a car crash. It was night, it was rainy, but that didn't stop Irma from speeding while listening to her favorite band. Will was sitting right next to her, and truth to be told, she wasn't warning Irma nor even telling her to slow down. Will was actually acting even crazier than her friend as she was singing aloud, jumping in the car, and even telling Irma to speed up. The two girls had all the right to be crazy and have fun. They had been just graduated and were heading to the big party. They were so happy they were finally real adults now. Really free, off to face the real world.

Nobody could have guessed what would've had happened, as it happened in a blink of an eye. Because she was distracted for one moment, Irma had lost control over her car, and it had crashed against a tree by the road.

Irma had left the hospital intact expect for some bruises after she had recovered from broken ribs and a minor concussion. But as for Will- she wasn't the same case. Her pelvic girdle was broken, therefore she had left the hospital in a wheelchair.

It wasn't going to be easy; they all knew that. But they knew that eventually everything was going to be alright. Well, apparently everyone thought that except for Will herself. She had changed. Since the moment she was told she would never walk again, Will had became a different person from the girl who she used to be. She started looking at the world through a black vision.

To Will, her world was crashed down. She couldn't see any use for anything any longer, she couldn't see any point. She found everything meaningless and silly. At the beginning, her friends thought she was just going through a phase- some sort of depression or a shock. It was normal, and they believed they could handle it. However, it wasn't just a phase. It had became a fact now. Will was not the same person she used to be. She ignored their help and refused their sympathy.

She couldn't explain the feeling to anybody. They would never understand. They couldn't relate to her. All her hopes, all her dreams, all her ambition... They were now all gone. Not one of them would become true. Not that she was now crippled.

She'd never drive a car.

She'd never swim again.

She'd never ever be a normal person.

_'I'll never be anything but a disabled who can't do shit in her life.'_ Will thought bitterly. She didn't hear the footsteps that were heading towards the room she and Irma were in.

"That's not true, Will! Stop thinking like that." Taranee said from behind the redhead.

"You stay out of my freaking mind, Taranee." Will shot back. She glanced over only to see that Taranee, Hay Lin, and Cornelia were all now joining Irma and herself in the room. Will grumbled something under her breath then turned her attention back to her book. Reading was Will's new hobby now that swimming was off limits.

The girls looked sadly at their friend. They couldn't believe how different Will was now. She was now bitter, angry, pessimistic. No matter how hard they tired they could never change her new dark thoughts that Will was so lost in.

Irma was the one who was having the hardest time. She had blamed herself ever since the day she learned about what happened to Will. And the redhead's attitude toward her wasn't making her feel any better.

Will rarely smiled around anybody, but around Irma she absolutely never did. She blamed her. She sure showed her new resentfulness toward her. Irma thought Will had all the right to do so. She kept telling herself, if only she hadn't speed up... If only she hadn't been a reckless idiot...

"Hey," Hay Lin comfortingly said in a low tone, gently putting a hand on Irma's shoulder after noticing that her best friend was on the verge of tears, "stop blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault, honey. It was nobody's fault. It just happened." Irma looked at Hay Lin, and then, with an appreciating smile, she nodded at her though the tears were still in her eyes.

"Will." Cornelia's voice almost made Irma jump as it was strong and clear.

"What?" Came the dry though loud answer of Will.

"We're going to go to Sky Bar and have a little drink. Want to go?" The blonde asked normally. Will turned her wheel chair to look properly at her. After a moment, she answered.

"Me? Sky Bar? No way."

"You could use fresh air. And maybe a little laugh." Will understood what Cornelia was hinting at. She raised an eyebrow at her tall friend.

"Since there's no fun around me, I don't see a point in going out, Corny." She said sarcastically, but there was no humor in her tone.

"That's not what I meant, Will." Cornelia countered while keeping her calm attitude and steady stand, "I'm just saying you should get out more often. I don't want you to stay in this state forever. Get out, have fun with your friends and... And live your life for God's sake!" Cornelia, who's only goal Will's best interest, snapped at the redhead. As a reply, Will gave a humorless laugh.

"Get out with my friends?" Her eyes shifted quietly from Cornelia to Irma, before she stated. "I'd rather rotten here."

"Would you stop blaming Irma?" It was a weird feeling for Irma to hear Cornelia defending her. It happened so rarely, and usually the brunette hated it as she preferred the natural fight between them. But, in this matter, she couldn't cherish Cornelia's back up anymore than this. Anything that would make Will look at her the same way the she used to do before the car crash was Irma's liking.

"I'm in this shape because of her!" Will raised her voice, but it was still a little less than shouting.

"You're in this shape because of a God forsaken accident that could've had happened to anybody. It wasn't Irma's fault."

"She ruined my life."

"You're the one who's ruining it now." Cornelia rebuked, wrapping her arms around her chest. The fights between the two were becoming more frequent and more tense. Cornelia's advices at the beginning had turned to scoldings as Will wouldn't listen to her. And the blonde's persistence was getting on the redhead's nerves.

"Go away Cornelia. And take Irma with you while you're on it." Will wheeled herself out of the room and to the kitchen. The other girls stood silently for a moment, before Cornelia followed Will, deciding not to give up just yet.

"You know what..." As the earth guardian went out, Taranee looked at Irma and asked.

"What are you doing here, by the way?" Not that Will would slam the door in Irma's face if she knocked on her apartment, but it was quite obvious that she wasn't really welcomed in here.

"I just wanted to hang out with Will. It was fine when I first came. I-I swear to you Taranee, I swear Will was starting to treat me like a real friend! But t-then I told her to bring me a glass of water, but it turned out that the shelf was too high for Will. And when she tried but couldn't reach for it, she turned grumpy." Irma answered, her voice full with disappointment and pain.

"You said at the beginning you two were okay? That's a good sign Irma; it's a progress. I think that everything would turn out that way it was." Hay Lin said, trying to cheer up Irma. But her attempt failed as she received a sad look.

"No Hay, it'll never be okay! Will would always be okay around me till something reminds her that she has a handicap, and as soon as that happens, she starts looking at me like I'm the devil himself! It'll never be okay. She'll never forgive me!" Irma cried out. Hay Lin could only hug her friend supportingly. She didn't trust her mouth as she had no idea what words would come out of there. Hay Lin was actually starting to believe Irma. Will wouldn't mind the brunette's company unless she remembered what had happened to her. And, of course, she was always going to remember as her new disability wasn't something easy to hide.

Oh, why Will had to give Irma such a hard time? Hay Lin wondered if Will knew she was breaking Irma's heart.

"Come on guys, let's go. She won't change her mind." They heard Cornelia's voice and the door opening. If Cornelia failed to convince Will to come, than it was hopeless. So without arguing or protesting, the girls headed towards the door, one by one.

"Bye Will." Cornelia said before she left. Taranee and Hay Lin echoed her with their own good-byes. Finally, Irma turned to see Will. She was staring out of the window. Not saying anything.

"Bye Will. See you." After hesitation, she added, "Hey, next time, how about we all gather here and watch a movie? I'm bringing Avatar and some popcorn! What do you think?" Irma asked with a grin. Well, she wanted to give a grin, what it turned out to look like, she had no idea.

"Bye Irma." Was unfortunately Will's only reply. Irma looked at the floor before she got out and closed the door behind her. What wouldn't Will see through her injury? If she only believed she could live normally, then she would. Heck, she could even play basketball. She could still have a nice trip to somewhere. She could do everything she wanted to do.

Irma sighed following the girls. "It's only been three months Irma." She heard Taranee suddenly say, surely after reading her mind, "Soon, Will would adapt and accept... Will would adapt and accept."

By the window, Will could see her friends getting into the car. They all were talking, and they all looked sad. She had caused that sadness. She just couldn't help it. She couldn't help remembering what she had lost. She couldn't help letting it all out on Irma. She couldn't help the way she was acting.

Will watched the car drive away. She sighed sadly. She should've been with them. She wasn't because they were going to a night club, and Will was in no shape to go there. What was she going to do? She'd only be reminded that she can't even dance anymore. Will found out that it is impossible to have fun if you're stuck in a chair.

She called it the Chair of Turmoil, for it had caused the death of her dreams and ambition. Will was locked in that chair-shaped prison, and she'd never be free. That was how she thought of it, and the others just wouldn't understand.

She used to be strong. Losing your strength so quickly takes your pride along the way. She felt ashamed, especially around Cornelia, Taranee, Hay Lin and Irma. She used to be their tough leader, and now she was broken and weak.

It just made her feel humiliated. She felt disgust of herself. She felt disgusted whenever she woke up and had to tire herself while trying to station herself on the chair next to her bed. She felt disgusted whenever she tried to put her pants on. She felt disgusted and damn humiliated and helpless whenever someone -even if a friend- pushed her wheelchair because she was exhausted of rolling the wheels.

Heck, she even needed help in taking a bath- but she never asked for it. That was why she sometimes took about a couple of hours to give herself a real bath!

Irma... Will never wanted to be mad at her. It was just that seeing her fine and well after the accident that destroyed her was killing the redhead. Just seeing the brunette infuriated her- and even though Will was trying to look the other way, she couldn't help but feeling dejected, knowing that Irma and even the other girls were embroiled in her nasty attitude.

Will wheeled the chair out of the kitchen and back into her room. She passed by the mirror, and she stopped to look at her reflection. The one thing that immediately caught her attention was her eyes. Dark brown instead of golden brown- bitter and cold instead of lively and twinkling. Before the thought that said all of this was her own doing crossed her mind, Will caught the sight of her chair.

Immediately, she felt angry more than remorseful. Clenching her teeth and fists, she looked away, now sure of one thing: The car crash had ruined her life.

* * *

**A.N: Will's thoughts about her condition are NOT my own. I think handicapped are just like everyone else**. **However, this story is about Will's POV.**

**Now that I cleared that little idea, hope you all enjoyed=)**


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